My Near Future Awaits Me

I will be leaving to job corps tomorrow. I am excited about all of the fun things but I will miss people when I can't see them. I will miss things I can't do like go wherever I want. I will make sure I have space (personal at least) though there will be four others. I hope they are all good respectful people. I don't know the career I should choose. I have a lot of people to call. Saturday when my sister and I went to the mall it was fun because we had girl time and sister bonding:) and I love the mall so that's also a plus. Her friend came over later and we had more fun talking and laughing. When we arrived to the house I recieved a letter telling me I am leaving to job corps.

When is enough?

When is enough? When everything is a lie how do you find truth? When manipulation and deceit conquer do you roll on your back displaying your weaknesses in the form of your belly like a scared puppy? How do you crush all of the obstacles to be happy and comfortable? How do we gain strength to fight for another day? When will the frustrations end? I can't stand alot of things!

Update?

I may be going somewhere. A place I have never been to. I don't know about the long road ahead. I am tired of most old things and wish for the new. I plan on being really busy. I can't stand orders barking at me, or uselessness. Hmmm so much to do and think about.

What Do You Think About ?

What do people actually want? Especially when they're too afraid to say it. Im not a mind reader but I can see feelings. It is so hard to accept vulnerably when you've been let down. There comes a time when you grow and know it's not a human mistake but a violation. It leads to regression. When you always have to be the bigger person it gets tiring. So another tactic is avoidance wich dulls eveything and prevents new problems from occuring. My biggest fear is not clowns or bugs, its failure. Failure to myself. This is My life and I realise others are in it, but my happiness is only my choice. I know the outcome will be the best no matter who's there or not. I will fight till the end like everyone else just hopefully with more character and style. What are you afraid to say? *comment and suscribe :)

Experience

I plan on experienceing the art of acting and creatively using this tool. Also I plan on owning a theatre with an amazing restaurant and fashion-art shop connected. There is the perfect place where I live and I want it. I remember I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was little until I found out you gave animals shots. I didn't want to hurt them. So I didn't want to do it anymore. Then I wanted to be an animator because I love to draw its an amazing escape. It also kills boredom (during class I kinda got lost during the lessons especially math so I drew) I payed for it dearly with after school tutoring. I couldn't stand homework I thought school should be left there why do homework? I love animals and drawing still. I just have new ideas and thoughts of expressing these feelings. I would love to see the world. I hope for my skills to grow. I wonder what goals and dreams other people have. What do you want to experience? What did you want to be as a kid? *comment and follow :)

It’s Showtime

I watched a video and they talked about innocence. People on shows are arguably innocent. You don't actually know how they are. They have an image marketed twards a target audience. Its all mixing work and play. Seems fun yet, later when you understand its difficult. You must play a part and keep it interesting or fail the game. Don’t be shocked everyone does it. Were all people don't be so serious. Be what you want now don't wait for aproval because many share your goals and fight hard. Sometimes I wish it wasn't so but I have to take the beatings and move on. What is actual innocence anyways? Kids know more than you know if you think they're ignorant. Hidden motives can make and break you. How do you know who is actually winning in the end. Do you actually know the whole story in all points of view? Do you overexpand or underuse sympathy? Do you help too much or too little? I can never have a clear point can I :)? I love this!

Acknowledgment

I don't care if I have to scream or slam doors. I will bite and scratch to the top even if its without you. I will not be neglected. I will acquire Acknowledgment no matter what. You will hear ME you will see ME no matter what!! Your opinions are meaningless. The only valid opinions are those I like. Test me I pass through obstacles momentarily. I don't need your approval or anyone elses. I’ve lived with lack of acknowledgment especially yours. The search has been over. Excitement is over. When I think of you I feel nothing. Its all dead now along with worries and fear. It has been replaced by passion and knowledge. End *if ya like comment and follow *